Sorry so long without an update. School stresses me out and puts me into a ‘I can’t do anything if I’m not doing my schoolwork’ mode. It’s fun and great but soooooooooo stressful.
I’m doing it for a good reason, though. Trying to fulfill that lifelong dream of being a good author. Not necessarily a best-seller, though that would be nice, but to actually write something that makes a DIFFERENCE. I read all this great literature, with all its layers and complexities and metaphors and symbolism, and I can’t help but be overwhelmed and depressed. How can I do it? How can I possibly write that well? Then the therapy-driven part of my brain tells me I’m a good writer already and cites evidence from the classes I’ve already had and the feedback people give me. I just need to work at it. And there’s the rub, I guess — work. When I was a child, I was ‘saved’ from everything that was hard, which taught me I can’t do it. But I can. I’ve done it before. I can do it again. And I’m learning more, so I can do even BETTER. I’m really looking forward to next semester; I’ve heard really good things about my fiction professor, so I’m hoping it will really help.
Right now, though, we need a new mantra. No more ‘I can’t.’ Now, repeat after me: I CAN. I CAN WORK HARD. I CAN ACCOMPLISH THIS. Rinse. Repeat.